I need to get over this obsession.


I really need to get over it.



But he's perfect. And totally not into me.



Move on. Just do it.

nothing I'll feel tonight

i've gotten away from needing to be so anonymous.

i've gotten away from a lot of things.



technology hates me lately. the laptop died, was resurrected, and died again. the cell phone was dropped one too many times and the replacement sucks. the car's windshield sprayers no longer work, the power steering belt is going, the struts have been shit for far too long now, and it desperately needs a tune up.


i desperately need a tune up.


i finally thought things were turning around for me. i felt so optimistic. and now, it's gone.


i need to keep busy.


i need a new job.

people are smarter than I give them credit for. apparently it is quite easy to link this blog back to me, and the other totally public soul baring one.

it's easy enough to concern those that love and care about me. which sucks.

i'm not suicidal anymore, haven't been in the last 13 or so years. you don't have to worry about me. the crazy likes to take over sometimes, it's beyond my control. but I have things sorted out for the most part. life vacillates between miserable to ecstatic in the blink of an eye.

such is life.


my anonymity was brief, though refreshing while it lasted. i suppose I could always make another livejournal account and lock it, keeping my secrets and fear and insecurities safely hidden within, but the exhibitionist in me disallows it.